1 March 2007

My Knickers are in a Right Knot

So, while Dive is getting felt up on the train on the way to London, yours truly is still skulking about the subway trying to find her chikan. As I'm still grope-free (do they take cash incentives, I wonder?), it was reassuring to read today's news stories and discover that pervs continue to exist in the seedy underbelly of this great country.

Allow me to introduce ... the shitagidorobo - the man who nicks your knickers.

From Japan Today:

HOKUTO - A 45-year-old man was arrested for stealing women's underwear from a laundromat in Yamanashi Prefecture, police said Wednesday.
The man, identified as YF* from Hokuto, is alleged to have stolen more than 400 items, of which more than half were stockings.
"I started stealing them three years ago," YF was quoted as saying, admitting to the charge. "I had a thing for women's legs and I enjoyed wearing them."

The above photo depicts the fruits of his endeavours. Now, I'm not one to rain on anyone's parade - whatever you're into, go ahead as long as you don't harm anyone else - but I have had underwear and other clothes stolen in Australia and it's downright annoying. Certainly not the worst thing that can happen by any stretch of the imagination, but they could at least buy their own.

This also, from April last year:

NAGOYA - A 50-year-old man accused of stealing woman's [sic] underwear was arrested Friday, with police seizing about 1,700 pieces of underwear and other items from a garage he used, law enforcers said. The man, HA, was arrested on suspicion of theft.
He has reportedly admitted to the allegations. "I was responsible for around 250 incidents from 1990," he was quoted as telling police. "I haven't been able to talk to girls since I was a student, so I became interested in underwear."
Investigators accuse HA of smashing a window to gain entry to a 43-year-old female office worker's home in Midori-ku, Nagoya, at about 6:30 p.m. on April 11, then stealing 67 items of underwear.
When police searched the garage listed as HA's place of work, they reportedly found about 1,700 pieces of underwear and other items. HA had cased out apartments where he committed the thefts and pressed the intercoms at doors to check that no one was home before going in to steal items, police said.
He reportedly committed the thefts while driving around eastern Nagoya and the Aichi Prefecture cities of Toyota, Nisshin and other areas on business.

Some truly astonishing stealth-like manoeuvres there - what a criminal genius: Press the intercom and see if someone's home. If not, steal their knickers. This chap was outdone by the one and only shitagidorobo master.

From August, last year:

YOKOHAMA - Kanagawa prefectural police on Wednesday re-arrested a 46-year-old man on charges of stealing women's underwear, local media reported Thursday.
The man, identified as KM, was arrested earlier this month for trespassing.
When police searched his home in Kanazawa Ward, they confiscated about 2,500 items of women's underwear.
"I have never been able to speak to women, so collecting their underwear gave me pleasure," KM was quoted as saying.
Police said that he had placed their panties underneath his futon and was sleeping on them. KM has admitted to stealing underwear for the past 10 years, police said.
He was apprehended while he was going through the washing machine in an apartment near his home late at night on Aug. 1, police said.

There are many disturbing elements to this post, not the least of which is the amount of time I have wasted trying to format this. For fuck's sake. All I will/can say at this point is:

1. Why do some men find it so difficult to talk to women? It's really not that hard.

2. What the fuck is with the word 'panties'? It should never be used. Ever.

3. Is it just me, or has the underwear in all the above photos been laid out with a little bit too much attention to detail?

*The papers mentioned full names, but as I'm not sure if they've been found guilty (police often get confessions out of people even if they have not committed the crime) I am reticent to put their full names here.


  1. 1. It's the "Piss off, creep." that stings so much.

    2. Even worse: Panty-hose. What's that all about?

    3. I like the nice straight rows but I'd have paid more attention to colour grouping. It looks a bit messy and random to me.

    And hey, why steal 'em when Japanese schoolgirls sell their used knickers online? It's what your mouse is for, guys. Go for it.
    Oh, and GG: If ever you're on the London Underground at around 8:30 in the morning, look out because your personal chikan will be waiting …

  2. 1. I'm sure you don't ever hear that. You're a big spunk.

    2. True - pantyhose is up there with doilies, but I still think panties is just wrong.

    3. The straight rows are aesthetically pleasing. It's the group of guys standing around arranging them that doesn't quite gel for me.

    Why buy underwear when you can steal it? Tokyo/Japan's an expensive place to live.
    Hehe, booking ticket...

  3. I really did get that response once, GG.
    I don't bother trying any more, but at least I don't steal underwear to compensate.
    I just blog to wreak my revenge upon a shitty planet that only gives girlfriends to the good looking bastards.
    Grrr … He he.

  4. 1. I have no idea.

    2. Not such a fan of that one, either.

    3. Yes, someone enjoyed their job a little bit too much.

  5. 1, It's not easy trying to say something cool and interesting when you are drooling.

    2. Not a word I tend to use too often. Gussett is also a bit "iffy" don't you think?

    3. Could be an experiment, put them all in the washing machine together and guess what shade they are when you take them out.

  6. That Queer ExpatriateMarch 01, 2007

    Isn't Japan the country where one could buy used school girl panties from a vending machine?

    I think I read that this had been discontinued... at least I hope it has been discontinued.

  7. "the fruits of his endeavours."


    The Friuts of his doom!

    sorry it was too easy!

  8. Cap'n DykeMarch 02, 2007

    1. Why do men find it difficult to talk to women? It's really not that hard. Well, I suppose it may be difficult t'not be lookin' at her boobs when speakin', since they don't answer back.

    2. What the fuck is with the word 'panties'? It should never be used. Ever. Panties come from th'word 'pantaloons'; sounds loony t'me, actually.

    3. Is it just me, or has the underwear in the all the photos above been laid out with a little bit too much attention to detail? I diagnose 'Obsessive-Compulsive with a Mother Love-Hate Relationship'. Could be he just likes t'put all th'pretty colours together, though.

    Just opinions, mind ye.

  9. I'm no fetishist myself, honest, but I'm sure if girls wore ugly things made out of knitted recycled socks with barbed wire trim blokes wouldn't be so attracted.

  10. Dammit, DH. That sound so horny! Where can I get me some of that stuff?

  11. Dive: That was one response - it doesn't mean it's true. I've seen photos and I think you look rather nice.

    Sassy: Apparently it's from pantaloons, which makes sense now that I don't have Blogger rage boiling my blood.

    1. I'd get that drooling checked out if I were you.
    2. Excellent suggestion - gussett is up there with panties and doilies.
    3. A very interesting experiment, indeed. I like the way your mind works. I'd guess they all come out grey, which is a nice reflection of this city.

    Queer Expat: Willkommen! Nice to see a new face, er, even if there's no avatar. Yup, I've heard that panties are no longer for sale in vending machines, but there have been sightings, apparently. More on that soon!

    Dear Prudence: Welcome to you too, my dear! Hehe, the fruits of his doom, indeed. I wonder if any of them at any time contemplated the shame they would feel when they were caught.

    1. I knew it only be a matter of time before ye brought up boobs
    2. or pantaloons. Thank ye, ye do be a fountain o' knowledge.
    3. 'Obsessive-Compulsive with a Mother Love-Hate Relationship' - I think you've just summed up an entire nation, my liege.

    Mr Headley: Welcome back to you, sir. I do find it intriguing to read a comment that begins, 'I'm no fetishist, but...'.
    I'm sure there's a bunch of blokes out there with a hankering for knitted recycled socks, complete with barbed wire trim...

    ... And then there was Dive. ;)

  12. Thank you, GG. I love it when my VPA sweet-talks her boss.

  13. Anytime, Big Guy, although it's not sweet-talk. It's true. You can either believe the bint who called you a creep, or me who calls you a big spunk! 'Tis up to you :)

  14. You are just soooo sweet!
    I'll take "big spunk" any day (hee hee).
    And what's this I hear from Sassy's site that übercool Tokyo babe Gaijin Girl is a "foolish romantic"?
    That's just scary!

  15. I'm glad you enjoyed the comment gg. I had to join beta to post that.

    And thank you dive. Underwear design was my best subject at school.

  16. Boss, ya big spunk: I'd hate to burst your bubble, but sweet, übercool and babe are probably the last three words anyone would use to describe me. Foolish romantic, however, is spot on.

    Mr Headley, sir: I understand the Blogger/Beta problems - just look at the nightmare that is the formatting on this blog! Extra kudos to you for your valiant effort to comment here. You are welcome whenever you fancy sailing by these shores.

  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

  18. This comment has been removed by the author.

  19. Cap'n DykeMarch 02, 2007

    All One can do is try, Me Nightingale. BTW, Emerald-Eyes, ye be slidin' quite nicely into th'histoire.

    An', truly, how long can ye expect a lesbian Pirate Queen t'go without bringin' up boobs? ;)